How can you tell if it is a “Yes” or a polite “No” in Indonesia?

The classic intercultural topic

How do you know if it is really a Yes? or if Indonesians are just too polite to say No?

This is one of the classic questions in my intercultural workshops on “Doing business in Indonesia” topic in Australia. This question is asked not only by newbies, but also by the more experience ones.

It is a reasonable question, especially when we look at the first two dimensions of Erin Meyer’s culture map (see below)

In the communication dimension, a “high context” communication is preferred in Indonesia. It means, messages are often delivered implicitly, not explicitly. Social settings, the status of people to receive the messages are some of the key considerations for deciding “how” messages should be delivered.

Being straightforward in our communication can be perceived as not being mindful. Some professionals and leaders are still struggling to tell the difference between mindfulness and high context communication style.

With this understanding, Australians that have been used to low context communication style, will be struggling to interpret messages delivered by their counterparts in Indonesia.

The evaluating dimension of the culture map further explains the complexity of delivering a “No” in Indonesia. A “negative” message often wrapped with positive ones. This explains why “the sandwich” feedback model is perceived as the “best” model for providing feedback by most of my colleagues in Indonesia. Do not be surprise when your Indonesian contacts ask your permission to be “honest” with you, before delivering critical perspective.

Or in Indonesia we say:

Kalau boleh jujur - If I can be honest with you

It does not mean they have not been honest with you. It means they want to give you heads up on what comes next.

Does this mean we will always have to interpret implicit messages while we are in Indonesia? The answer is not always.

To help you understand why this is not the case, consider the following real business scenario: